Writing is cheaper than therapy or drugs.

Food4thought

Sloppy Etymology

Sometimes you wish for something so hard and then it actually comes true. Has that happened to you? Against countless odds and still, your wish actually came true. Does it count as being lucky or should you be careful about hitching your hopes up too high? I’ve been thinking these thoughts for a while now. I’ve been thinking so much about it and I’ve also been trying not to think at all.

So much has happened since the last time I was here, blogger friends. So. Much. Where do I start from and how do I explain any of this? I am not sure. But I want to take it one step at a time. Keep my emotions in check. Make sure I’m not borrowing more happiness than I deserve to have in my share.

I can’t write like I used to. I’m putting that out there so you can…

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Using Psychedelic Drugs as a Therapeutic Self-Evaluation

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I feel different.

The world is a waving, vibrating, more alive than it ever seemed before. The ceiling now consists of a liquid, stenciled ocean.

My world has changed into an unfamiliar yet so real lucid dream. How can this be? Why is there even such a thing that can allow humans to experience this Wonderland? Why do I want to keep going back? In this world, nothing else matters besides Love.

Everyone knows how to do it and it feels so right. This is why it changes people. This is why people are never the same again after they experience this world. We might be trippin’, but it’s a hell of an experience, and everyone should be able to experience it for themselves without judgement.

I feel so smart when I come back to reality. But what I’ve learned has always been a foggy, gray area after my mind has plunged into a state of psychedelic infatuation.

Wonderland is all I think about.

But what about reality? It’s hard to not want to go back to it.

Wonderland offers me escape. A beautiful, colorful, new land where I can learn and be someone new, leave all of my problems behind, an easy way out. But there’s no doubt that I question to myself…

Am I cheating my own mind? Why do I always want to take the easy way out? Leaving all my memorable years of living behind? All of the answers lie within somewhere deep.

“Everything isn’t always as it seems” they say.

Maybe everything is as it seems, and it’s just that simple.

There’s a reason why they call it TRIPPIN’. If “trippin” is short for “tripping” and tripping means to go away and come back, than psychedelics must obviously be a very conscious trip.

A trip to Wonderland.

What the most amazing thing about this trip to Wonderland does for me, is to help me realize, that if I am wanting to stay in Wonderland, and it’s always better than home.. There’s something in life that I need to reconsider..

I am not happy with the life that I have.

I am not as thankful as I say I am. I am not as “great” as I tell everyone I am when they ask. Maybe the media is to blame, or society, our parents, or our school teachers. But the possibilities of being alive, is that there are so many. That’s the amazing thing that we get to experience. Life gives us a chance to take all opportunity and make it real.

So in the end, there are no excuses. There are only opportunities.

And in this reality, my motivation is opportunity. And I am passionate about wanting to make my life great by surrounding myself with the people the I love, and the people that love me. I will achieve life-long satisfaction within myself by doing the things that make me feel the best; traveling, meeting new people, forgiving, learning, thanking, loving and making my life the wonderland It should be without the use of psychedelics.

And one day, I’ll learn that I have been in Wonderland, the entire time.

I feel different.

Colors All Around Us

Colors have an important role in this world.. Everything is made up of them, and they are so beautiful, they can be vibrant, or dull. They can represent emotion and be symbolic in so many different ways. The way lights reflect and make these colors is an incredible factor to making up the fabrications in everything. How amazing would it be to see more colors in spectrum? How strange is it that colors can change in variation in a color wheel and come back to the same color? In a way, the color wheel represents infinity and that itself, has no boundaries or restrictions.

Colors.

The Aftertaste of Sorrow

Such truth.. Such honesty

boy with a hat

(Warning: I’m too depressed to bother about grammatical mistakes.)

Dear friends, in the last week or so I’ve turned from a romantic hero into an almost-maniac. Sometimes, out of too much enthusiasm, out of too much passion, out of too much love, we lose our heads and say and do foolish things, we become bad versions of ourselves, automatons that make mistake after mistake and hurt the people we care about. I plead guilty. Overwhelmed by enthusiasm, thinking I had finally found the complicity of a romantic friendship, I became too insistent with my visits to the clinic and said and did foolish things, and to conclude, the blue-eyed nurse now frowns upon me.

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A Trip Unlike The Rest

Namaste Friends…

This Halloween was very much unlike the rest. Especially this LSD trip. It’s not too often that I consume LSD, and I could count on both my hands the amount of times I have. It’s not too often that I take psychedelic drugs on a normal basis either (only shrooms being the only other psychedelic I have consumed and the last time was February of this year.) Anywhoo, I feel the need to express the amount of drug use to my audience because the amount of drugs you take, definitely can change you and your perspective in life.

This experience I had, made a huge impact on my life in such a small 10 hours of being under the influence. It was the first time I went to a party on a psychedelic with many people around me instead of my small group of friends both with familiar and unfamiliar faces. I consumed 2 drops of LSD, each with an hour between doses. After the second drop, it wasn’t long until I lost track of time and I entered into the realm of beautifully sparkled faces and glowing, radiating, vibrant colors. For the first couple hours it was all giggles and observing until I became lifted and more consciously aware of anything and everything around me. I was full of energy, curiosity and warm, fuzzy, good feelings.

I wandered around the house for quite some time and with each passing moment, I felt more and more detached from my body. Looking down at my body as if I were observing myself from up above. I wasn’t scared, in fact, I hadn’t felt better in my life. Although, there was something particularly strange and uncontrollable that I hadn’t felt before. This part of my trip is really hard for me to put into words. More so, I remember the feelings that I had and not so much what I was thinking at this certain point. I remember being in a room with many, many people. Everyone was so happy and having a great time laughing, joking, cheering, smiling, jumping. Knowing that everyone in this house was under the influence, we all checked up on each other often asking how we were doing. There was something so unreal about the connection that linked me to these people. Like the way a plant, animal, cloud, mountain or river all works together to keep balance to Earth, that is how I felt with these people. Like we were literally just part of the land doing our part to keep things along and checking up with each other along the way to make sure we were doing okay and doing our part. I hadn’t felt more at home then I ever have before. Some of these people were strangers, others acquaintances and the rest were close friends, but it didn’t matter how much I knew them, what mattered was that we were all connected and cared about each other, giving each other advice, hugs and a place to pit stop in our journey in life, to remind us of how hard things may be, but we are all in this together, for the sake of life.

This is just a much more simplified version of what my experience was like, especially because being in the moment is much more real and vivid and partly because acid makes you feel incredibly sensitive to everything. But here is what I took out of what I had gone through that trip- I have a theory, that drugs are here on Earth and they serve an incredible purpose for us humans. A purpose to help us find our OWN personal purpose and everyone’s may be different. That doing drugs, helps us escape the reality that we are in, and those who are addicted to escaping reality, are on a trip to discovering what is really important in life, especially if they are always wanting to leave the life they live. Those that never get out of doing drugs, I feel very sad for. I feel sad that they couldn’t find their purpose.

I have a theory, that psychedelics take us to a point of being so high and consciously aware, that it is so similar to being dead (without your body.) If this is true, when we come back to our body and our high wears off, we can choose to appreciate the life that we have, or not. The present, is a gift we say. Some choose to be selfish and unappreciative to that gift, and without realizing that we should appreciate the gift of life more than anything, those will be sad and dissatisfied with their lives. They will be filled with an unattractive ego, materialistic behavior, and broken relationships/friendships.

There’s nothing in the world like the psychedelic adventure I had that night, and I wouldn’t take it back for the world. From here on out, I am going to refrain from consuming anymore LSD in my life, for I have found my purpose.